How Lovely
by TheTickTockClock
Summary: Before Hermione knew it, Riddle kissed her, and before she knew it, his wand was pointed at her, the words Avada Kedavra forming on his lips. So she did the thing she only knew, she slapped him.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Fun w/ Dumbledore

Hermione banged the door, 'That bumbling idiot!' she thought viciously. The door finally gave way as Hermione was in the middle of kicking the door.

"Hermione?" a gravelly voice answered her, "what are you doing?"

"Dumbledore, what the HELL is happening?" she yelled, "There are death eaters surrounding the borders of Hogwarts as we speak!" Dumbledore looked at her calmly, and then sighed. The lines in his face were more pronounced, making him look more like a school master than a lemon drop addict. He then motioned for her to come inside. She rolled her eyes 'Fuck this mystery crap', but she came in nonetheless. The schoolmaster sat down and offered her a lemon drop, Hermione stood there passive, so he shrugged and popped one in his mouth. 'I hope you choke on it' she glared.

"Ms. Granger, the truth is, to be blunt, that I'm not god," He said, "I don't know everything, and I'm sorry for the things that I put you, Harry, and Mr. Weasley through," Hermione's glare softened. He went on, "and the only thing that I can think of in the present situation is to erase everything," The chocolate orbs widened, 'Time travel' she smiled with no warmth.

"Are you proposing for me to go back in time and kill off good ole' Tommy?" she asked. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled sadly.

"Yes," Hermione could've sworn that the moron's eyes watered.

The silence was long and painful and the only thing that broke it was her whisper, "So be it," Just then, the door flew off it's hinges, nearly crushing Hermione, if it wasn't for her cat-like reflexes.

"DUMBLEDORE!" Harry roared, then calmed… somewhat, "what the HELL is happening here?" He then saw Hermione and stood next to her. Before poor Dumbledore could speak, Ron stumbled in.

"Nice of you to join ," Annoyance laced in his voice, Dumbledore pointedly looked at the now slaughtered door, Ron turned into the incredible walking tomato and stood next to Harry. "That door was a heirloom, but, on to other matters, Hermione here, has just agreed to go back in time and murder Riddle," The two boy stared at Hermione as if she was stupid.

"You were going to leave us?" Harry asked sadly.

Mr. Shame danced around Hermione as she spoke, "It's not exactly _leaving_,"

Harry then took a step towards her, "Then what is it, suicide?" sarcasm and hurt entered his voice and he clenched his fist, "After all we've been through YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE US!" Hermione did the only thing she could think of and hugged him. He stood rigid, then relaxed.

"Are you still mad?" she asked innocently. He chuckled, a deep rumbling sound, she stepped back and looked sincerely into his eyes. "I'm sorry, but I really wasn't going to leave without saying bye,"

The laughter in his eyes disappeared and he said slowly, "You aren't going anywhere without me,"

"And me," said Ron walking next to her and giving her a bear hug. Dumbledore cleared his throat, and Ron let go of Hermione.

"So, you three will be all?" just as the words exited his mouth, Fred, George, Draco, Lavender, Parvati, and Ginny entered the room.

"Dumbledore, what the HELL is going on?" they all asked in unison. Ah, déjà vu.

"I need a new door," Dumbledore muttered, then stood up, "Hermione, Ron, and Harry have agreed to travel back in time and bump off Mr. Riddle," He smiled then added, "I take it, that you all want to join?"

"Yes!" they all answered, only Draco faltered. "Umm… actually I only came here for a lemon drop, they were out in the kitchen, but what the hell, my father Is an ass, and my mother doesn't care anymore, what have I got to lose? Yes!" He cheered with his arm in the air, and soon others joined.

"Very well, I shall recite the spell which will take you to 1944, oh, and here, a letter to give to my younger self," He handed the letter to Harry. 'Did the old man plan this?' Hermione looked at Dumbledore, there was no way he could've wrote that long of a letter in 2 seconds, but no time to worry about that. She glanced at Harry, he was relaxed, and so was she. They were both surrounded by people they love, even Draco, and she smiled.

"Move into a circle," they obeyed, "I will now recite the spell, please don't do anything rash, and last but not least of all, good luck," He stood and waved his wand in an entrancing manner. "Sic stat decipio tempus," A light so bright surrounded the group, even Dumbledore squinted.

Then Hermione a slammed on a rather hard floor, her intestines doing the chicken dance, and the only thing she could remember was:

Fuck Luck.

A/N: Is it good? Yes, no, maybe so? R&R


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

She looked around, Harry was puking on the floor, but other than that, everything was okay, "God," she moaned. Minus the puking song, everyone could stand up and move around. No one lost an arm or leg. 'Geez, way to look at the bright side Mione,' she stood up, and shook her head, she touched her neck. There was a small, thin chain around her neck. She fingered it, mom, dad, forgive me. She uttered a spell, cleaning up the puke, and helped Harry up. "Where to, Sire?"

"Oh, stop," he moaned, his face paled, "w-what happened to the letter?" He felt around his pockets, and then relaxed. "Here it is," He held the letter up like a trophy. Fred laughed and George joined in.

"What is it?" Hermione asked touching her hair self consciously.

"Nothing," they both said in unison. Hermione rolled her eyes, 'Boys,'

"First things first, we need to find Dumbledore," Harry announced looking every bit the leader.

"How, may I ask, do you know my name," a soft, weary voice called out. Harry jumped then turned, his wand pointed straight at the forehead of the ever great Dumbledore. Not much changed, his face was smooth, and he was wearing a cloak, thank goodness, if Hermione saw that stupid blue nightgown she was sure to puke. Harry coughed and lowered his wand.

"S-sorry, force of habit," He blushed, but soon recovered, "here, this is from you older self," He handed Dumbledore the thick letter.

"Very well then, if you all would follow me," He turned briskly and walked towards a desolate hallway, he waved his wand, opening the door to a rather large, and plush office. He sat down, and gazed at Harry.

"Aren't you going to read the letter?" asked a bratty Parvati.

"Patience is a virtue," Dumbledore replied calmly. Though he did open the letter, rather slowly, read it, and placed it down. "Miss…. Jinx? I presume," He was looking at Hermione, "Newman, The Boxes, Cyril, Hubel, Viox, and Scroon?" He looked around calling out the outrageous last names he himself gave them. Hermione rolled her eyes, 'Jinx? What the hell,' she then looked at him expectantly. Dumbledore smiled at Harry, "You can stay here as long as you like, I think that you all should separate into different houses, how many are there?"

"Nine," Harry answered, counting everyone.

"Good to know you can count that high, Po- Newman," Draco's snidely asked.

"To bad _you_ can't, Viox," Hermione answered just as snidely. She glared and Draco, this wasn't the time.

"Break it up, kids," Ron said and then turned to Dumbledore, "Hermione, Lavender and Ginny, will stay in Gryffindor, Draco, Harry and I, will go to Slytherin, and George, Fred, and Parvati, will go to Ravenclaw," Harry nodded in agreement looking at the others for anyone who opposed and then looked at Dumbledore.

"I will arrange for a house elf to take you to the houses, they will tell you the password, for any questions, please feel free to come and talk," Dumbledore snapped his finger in return a small house elf appeared, its big eyes gazing at Dumbledore. "Take them to the houses, Mini," Mini turned and motioned for them to follow.

Hermione gazed at her overly red bed. She then frowned, there was something off, something terribly off, but she shrugged and set up her wards. Hermione then lied down on the bed, stretching her long limbs. "Oi, don't give him a view!" she opened her eyes. Ron, that loveable idiot, was crawling on the ceiling like Spiderman and so was Harry.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Hermione gasped out, calming her pounding heart. "God!" They both chuckled. "Well? Are you guys coming down?" she asked.

"Nu uh, the spell we put on your bed…." Ron trailed off.

She glanced at them sharply, "What spell," They both smirked at her.

"It's a spell in which cast on an object, will dismember the person, when they sit or lay down on the object, It also depends on which gender, according to the witch or wizard," Harry recited opening a book.

"In other words, if a guy's on that bed, his balls are cut off," Ron said, with a goofy smile. Hermione flinched. They weren't her brothers for nothing.

"Are you guys done? Jeez, it's not like I'm going to fuck anyone," She rolled her eyes. They glared at her.

"You better not!" They said in unison.

Hermione walked down the common room, everyone stared at her, making her rather nervous. "Take a picture, it'll last longer," she said loudly. A girl with blonde hair laughed.

"Don't worry, we do this to everyone new kid," she said as she put her arm around Hermione. "She's with me," the blondie announced. 'Jeesh, what is this, a gang?" Hermione rolled her eyes. The girl smiled at Hermione, as if reading her thoughts, "The name's Minerva," Hermione choked, (on like nothing).

"Minerva, as in Minerva McGonagall?" she asked incredulously.

"Yup!" Minerva chirped happily.

"Are you a morning person?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah!" she answered in a bright voice.

"Then fuck off," Hermione growled. Minerva laughed, and dragged her to the Great Hall.

"Come, sit with me," she said as she led Hermione to the seat next to her. Three girls smiled at her warmly. "This is Phoebe, Jenna, and Helga," Minerva pointed at a pretty, short haired, girl. Then a tall, exotic, beauty, Jenna. Helga was the cute chubby girl, she smiled at Hermione shyly, in which Hermione grinned back. "The basics of the Hogwarts socialite class is, those three girls there," Hermione looked at three similar looking girls who were overly thin, with black hair, "they're called the sparrows, bunch of bitches they are, and that guy over there," Minerva's voice gushed with excitement, "that's Tom Riddle," she whispered, "He's the hottest, most popular guy in this school," A striking boy looked up, as if he sensed he was being talked about, he met eyes with Hermione and smiled, she frowned in return. "The guy next to him," Minerva pointed to a handsome blonde boy who looked up, saw who Tom was looking at, then smirked and winked at her. She paled, 'What the hell was that, a sign? Am I going to die so soon?' "his name is Caleo Malfoy, isn't he HOT?" she gushed like an overly hormonal teenager.

Hermione, nodded robotically, looking down at her meal. "Umm.. I think I'll go visit the library," she said. Then, stood up and walked briskly out, sensing a pair of dark eyes following her. Hermione shivered once she was out of the Great Hall and then ran. 'Fuck it, way to be inconspicuous Mione,' she turned a sharp left, and slammed into something hard.

"Oof!" the wall let out, making Hermione have a mini heart attack.

"You idiot, watch where you're going!" a harsh voice whispered.

"I will, if you will," Hermione looked up to see an olive colored boy smirk at her, then looked at her up and down. Hermione finally realized that she was on the floor, skirt up to her mid thigh. She glared at him. "Perv," The boy smirked in response.

"Can't help look at what's in front of me," the boy said.

"I hope you go blind," she said viciously. His smirk grew.

"Who the hell _are_ you?" the boy asked then helped her up.

"Thanks, Hermione Gra- Jinx," she could've kicked herself for that stupid mistake, "who're you?"

"Nix Zabini," he answered promptly. She shook her head, 'Figures,'

"Oi! Jinx, what the hell are you doing here?" Draco asked jogging up to them.

"I'm spontaneously running into idiots, that's what," She maneuvered around Nix amazingly, ran to the library and entered.

"She's hot," Nix said.

"Are you blind?!" Draco asked, gaping at him.

A/N: How'd you like it? A bit cliche, I know, it gets better though, thanks for the reviews. R&R please!


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Hermione woke up, only to see Ginny's face smirking above her. "What?" she asked sleepily.

"I hear that you… are going out with Janix Zabini," she said smugly crossing her arms. Hermione rolled off the bed, looking at Ginny as if she was a lunatic.

"W-what," her mouth closed, then opened, making her look an awful like a fish.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "Oh please, like you didn't know," Hermione could've slapped her, if she wasn't her best friend, 'Just what I need,' She hurriedly put her clothes on and ran out the door. When she approached the common room, she found Helga.

"Oi, Helga!" Hermione yelled, "Is it true?" Helga looked around when she spotted Hermione she smiled.

"Wouldn't you know, I mean you're the one who accepted?" her pretty voice rang out. Hermione shook her head, desperately trying to catch her breath. Helga motioned for Hermione to follow her, 'Janix, you fucking idiot,' Hermione thought, as she followed Helga. They finally stopped in front of a crowd. "Um, excuse me," she said, while pushing way through the crowd. Hermione followed suit, Helga pointed at a poster. Hermione's eyes widened, considerably, there, on a sleek poster was Hermione's picture smiling. 'Where the hell did they get my picture?' Underneath the picture in medieval font: Hermione, my love, will you go out with me? Hermione laughed, never has she had such a ridiculous request in such a ridiculous fashion. She laughed so hard, tears were in her eyes.

"Are you crying?" asked a deep voice, Hermione jumped and turned around when her eyes finally laid on Tom Riddle. 'Oh, shit!'

"Yes, I am crying, tears of _joy_," she said sarcastically. Tom smirked, how… curious. Hermione rolled her eyes then asked, "Where the hell is Nix?" Riddle frowned, cussing is not a way for a lady to act. "Oi, earth to Riddle?" she waved her hand in front of Tom.

"He's in the library," Tom said absentmindedly.

"Hey, Hermione," Ron shouted, he was in the middle of being squished by two girls squealing in his ear. "Ow! Come on Mione, a little help would be nice," Hermione grinned, same old Ron, "Ow!" another squeal from the girl on his right. Hermione dragged him out, almost falling on her face, when someone caught her.

"Surprise, surprise," Nix said smirking as he caught her. Hermione stepped back hurriedly.

"Ahem, er… yeah, about that poster…" Hermione began. Nix's smirk widened, (if that's even possible) and he stepped closer with a feral grin.

"Yes….?" He urged. 'Oh, god, if I say no, everyone's going to hate me, if I say yes, I'll have the world's most annoying boyfriend,' Hermione rolled her eyes, something that she's been doing a lot, anyways, she pushed him back.

"You idiot, normal people _ask_, NOT, set up random posters around their schools asking them to go out," she ranted, "and the answer to that poster's question is a NO," she stressed the no, earning a deadly, silent, crowd, who sent her murderous glares. Hermione shivered 'One, two and three,' on three, there was a loud "Get her!" and a very, very fast Hermione. While she was in the middle of her record breaking sprint someone grabbed her and pulled her in a closet. "Ouch!" she swore and glared at a blonde, handsome boy who grinned at her.

"Well, whaddya know, the new kid," Caleo Malfoy said, rather smugly, and then laughed. "Seems like you've got yourself an adventure,"

"You've got no idea," muttered Hermione, "anyways, what the hell was that? Do you just grab people running down the hallway and shove them in the closets, and lock them in?"

"You forgot that i ravish them afterwards," he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Hermione raised her eyebrows, "Hmmm, I'd pass, and actually, I'd like to leave, if your highness doesn't mind," her eyebrows raised higher, when she saw that he raised his wand at her, eyes darkening.

"Riddle," he said coldly, "get out," Tom Riddle twirled his wand casually, as if there wasn't a boy trying to murder him.

"To busy ravishing her?" he chuckled, "better put that wand back, before you get hurt, boy" he spat the "boy" out venomously.

"Umm, excuse me, I hate to interrupt this rather _lovely_ reunion," Hermione said, rather shakily, after seeing a small glimpse of Riddle's anger. She was glad that the closet was dark, since her knees were shaking. "Oh, and Caleo, give me my wand back, I'm not _that_ stupid," Caleo smirked, but gave her wand back. Hermione walked towards the door, shaking her head, "Excuse me, Riddle," Tom smirked, stepping back gracefully. 'It's a crime to look so good and be SO evil,' she thought dreamily. She slapped herself 'God Hermione, you sound like a lovesick fool,'

"Hey, Mione, where'd you go?" Ron called out as he showed up from behind a tapestry. He paled when he saw Riddle, almost choking an air. "Hermione, w-what a-are you d-doing," he squeaked unattractively. Hermione smirked, it was fun seeing Ron in such a nervous state.

"Come on Ron, let's go find Harry," she said as she turned to enter the Slytherin corridor. When she reached the portrait, the portrait was a picture of a snake with ruby eyes, it hissed at her.

"Passssssssssword, pleasssssssse," its tongue flicked in and out.

"Passssssword," Hermione mocked, earning a glare, the Slytherin thought they were smart and tried to use Password as their password, but that's just stupid. The portrait opened reluctantly. "Harry!" she called, "where the hell are you?" Harry turned up with a book in hand. Hermione raised her eyebrows, "Are you _studying_?" she asked incredulously.

Harry smirked, "You really underestimate me, don't you?" he rolled his eyes, "actually I was doing some research, not lollygagging around,"

Hermione's mouth gaped open, "Hey! _I'm_ not lollygagging," Harry grinned.

"_Really_, what about that _magnificent_ poster?" Harry retaliated sarcastically. Hermione shook her heads smiling back.

"Anyways, what are you researching about," she asked, avoiding the "poster" topic.

"Hmmm… when the time comes I shall let you know," Harry said with a fake medieval accent.

"_Come on, please, please, please_, with a cherry on top," she whined. He shook his head, Hermione stuck her tongue out.

"Very, mature, Jinx," drawled Draco.

"Oh, put a sock in it," Hermione was sick of Draco's prickly attitude. She left the Slytherin common room, only to run into Tom Riddle.

"Jinx? What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice silky smooth, Hermione sniffed, there was a scent in the air, an almost sickly sweet smell.

"Just visiting Harry," she said anxiously, she didn't like that smell, not at all.

"Well," he simply responded. Hermione moved around him, careful not to touch him. Then she ran, she finally could name the odor. It was blood.

She ran some more, but then stopped when she saw a trail of the red liquid, Hermione followed it when it turned to a sharp left leading her to the closet, the exact one that Caleo pulled her into. Her breath stopped when she opened the door, there, on the ground, was Caleo, dead, with a pool of blood around him.

A/N: oooo How's a little mystery? Thanks for the reviews, but I want more! (I'm a greedy person)

I have a question: is james and lily potter the same age as Minerva Mcgonagall? Would they have been if they were alive?

I don't know how to word this question, but I'm sure you smart kiddies know what I mean.


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